Dear Gorgeous Sparkly Flats,
Not cool. You are a wolf in sheeps clothing. You disguised yourself as an adorable flat pair of foot candy and you are actually a torture device. I should have known better. Every time I wear you my feet end up hurting, but it's so hard to choose my black sensible flats when you're sitting next to them screaming, "Pick me! Pick me! I'll elevate your outfit. Everybody will tell you how cute I am." Most days I can resist, but for some reason you had me convinced that today would be different. Well, it wasn't different. It was WORSE. By the time I had my coffee my heels were all red and by lunch time I was limping, LIMPING! So, this is goodbye gorgeous sparkly flats. Until I find a magical cobbler who can make you comfortable, I'm putting you back on the shelf and not your regular shelf. No more of the closet light hitting you just right so your sparkles shine and I'm fooled again, you're going in on the top shelf where you'll be purely for decoration. It's been (painfully) real.